When you don’t make a blog post for a year, is it called a hiatus, or giving up? When you finally do, and you’ve changed the name of the blog, does anyone remember who you were in the first place? Does it matter?
Hi! Oh hey! The Cozy Vegan has been dissected a little bit, and now is http://www.sarahlouiseaf.com. Things will be a lot the same. However, while still adhering to a vegan lifestyle, I needed a clean break from *~The Cozy Vegan*~ and all it used to mean to me. I grew into this name where I was a pretty privileged young adult. Since then, I’ve experienced a lot. Most recently, I’ve lived below the poverty line for several years while pursuing my weird pipe dreams in the *~vegan food and blogosphere*~. I barely scraped by while committing to provide folks locally with vegan treats at an accessible price point, obsessed for hours over how I presented my life while sharing vegan recipes no one probably read, and volunteered for hours for a local *~non-profit*~ for quite awhile before finally coming to terms with the fact that VEGANS ARE NOT A MARGINALIZED GROUP & no one actually benefited from that organization. (Plus that specific group they served was kind of a hot bed for casual racism, asking local businesses to work for nothing, and was just super gross and privileged. But I digress & won’t name names).
At that time, it was hard to be honest or realistic with myself. I hustled hard with little pay off. I took other jobs with minimal hours, trying to fit them around my already-hustle, just to try and pay my bills. I glorified every moment of it, and joked about being too tired & too busy & too broke to feed myself properly. I drank too much. My mental health suffered. I look back on the past few years, and I am proud of myself for starting something from scratch, and making it work. But that’s all I’ve done- make things work. It didn’t necessarily always work well.
Early last year (just before the last couple posts I wrote, probably), I realized that I was drowning and needed to make some changes. As I did my own taxes and bookkeeping, I really paid attention to where I was succeeding, and what was wearing me down. I stopped drinking last January, something I had started relying on too heavily to forget how tired I was, and trick myself into thinking I was fine. I met someone whom I love, and am excited to share life with, and who has so many incredible qualities that I can only hope rub off on me someday. I adopted my foster-fail Xena in December, and was being very cautious with money & saving up in case of vet bills. I prepare food for myself in ADVANCE, and have been trying to be nicer to my body.
Now, I’m transitioning into scaling down my commercial baking, because I just. can’t. keep. up. People constantly move onto new trends, and my own small business just isn’t one of those anymore. I’ve worked hard to get myself set up commercially, while being undercut by folks who do the same thing as me from home, under the table. I can’t rely on my small following to keep me afloat, and that’s okay. I’m instead focusing on teaching more cooking classes whenever I can. I love to teach. I’m hoping to learn more about managing mental health in small ways, and how to help other folks, and hope maybe I can combine my love for teaching with this somewhere down the line. I’ve also realized that it’s OKAY, and NOT embarrassing to work for other people even after you’ve been an entrepreneur. It feels good to build a little more stability for myself, and I hope to continue with that. I’m working constantly to throw away what doesn’t serve me anymore, and keep what’s good close.
I do like writing. I think that blogging is one of the things I forgot was good for awhile, when I became too tired. My focus is a little different, now. I want to share vegan recipes, but I don’t really care whether I’m known for them anymore, or part of the vegan community, as long as I have my little intersectional corner of the internet. I want to talk a little more about body acceptance, because it’s something I’m still working on. I want to share the trials and tribulations of entrepreneurship and things I’ve learned, or wish I did the first time around. I want to interview some of my friends who do cool stuff, and I want to share all my favourite things. Maybe since I’m not exclusively in my weird vegan bubble anymore, no one will want to read. But I hope some of you will, and I hope some of you will want to chat. So, anyways, I’m back here, and congratulations if you got through all of that. Looking forward to sharing new content, that hopefully some people can relate to. Or not. If you can’t, that’s fine too.